There was a little girl who had a little
curl right in the middle of her fore-
head and when she was good she was
criticized anyway. Elan Golomb, Trapped in The Mirror
In the Wizard of Oz, There’s was no place like home but for a daughter of a narcissistic mother, the meaning is quite different. It’s not a place that she wants to go home to.
Are you a woman who never feels good enough, never was good enough, never will be good enough? Then most likely you are the daughter of a narcissistic mother.
And in truth, you probably never were, are, or will be good enough for her. Because such a thing doesn’t exist. Her standards are so impossibly high that nobody could meet them.
Or rather, the only way to meet them would be to totally dissolve your self in her. That’s what she wanted. She wanted you to totally adore her, to admire her, to be her creature. To cater to her every whim.
And to the extent that you did not do that, you were never good enough in her eyes. Unfortunately your mother gave you the “never good enough” message and you internalized it and now believe it. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’ve probably been beat up emotionally much of your life so stop now.
She was your mother, and children look up to their mothers and believe them. Why wouldn’t you?
Unfortunately, this ‘never good enough’ message was unspoken and subliminal and so went straight to your subconcious. The message was given in deep sighs, and rolled eyes, and silences.Those messages were indelible, and for a child, impossible to protect yourself from.
Dr. Karyl McBride, author of “Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing The Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” joined Francesca Bastarache on Talk With Francesca on WWZN REVOLUTION BOSTON for a frank talk about narcissistic mothers and how to navigate these murky waters. Dr. McBride offers a wonderful recovery program that gives women a chance to reclaim their lives. For the full interview listen to the podcast below.
