Finish that unfinished business today- I’ll show you how.
It’s not easy for some to find their voice. Hasn’t always been easy for me. But with perserverance I triumphed. So I have a special place in my heart for those that are still struggling with it. Even people who seem to be extroverted, it can be a real struggle to say what they are really feeling.
Today, I challenge you today to write down anywhere from one to ten conversations that you would like to have with someone that you have been holding back from. Here’s the thing. When we don’t say how we really feel, we rob ourselves of energy. Lots of energy. It’s a real drag. It brings you down. The conversation goes round and round in your head and then you tell others but all the while you haven’t said anything to the person that you want to say it to. Speak your truth. What’s holding you back?
There’s a sense of freedom that comes with speaking your mind. We feel lighter, more energetic, free to be ourselves. There is a feeling of wholeness that comes with it. The reasons we don’t speak our mind is that we fear something. Losing something, maybe gaining something, ever thought about that? How does it serve you to keep quiet? Don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?
When we speak up our connections are real. It’s authentic. And, it gives us a sense of personal integrity. I guarantee you, those that are true relationships will be happy you did.
People respect people who are forthright. It’s a compliment to the relationship because you are essentially saying, “You are worth my time and I want an honest connection with you.” It’s not always comfortable, I won’t lie to you, but I promise you this. When the air is clear, there is room for growth or not. If there isn’t room for growth and authenticity, than I ask you this, what are you doing in the relationship anyway? If you wait too long, it will be harder. Do it today. Let me give you a few pointers on how to begin because it might make it slightly more palatable to get started.
There is a way to do it and feel good about it.
First let me tell you what not to do. Don’t send it in e-mail form. The feelings are harder to understand and can be misinterpreted. It’s the coward’s way out anyway.
It’s ok if it’s been awhile since you’ve held in your feelings. Tell the person that you want to have a conversation with that there is something in between you that you would like to talk about.
Use I statements rather than “You did this to me…” but rather “I felt when you said this or did this that ……” Clear, concise to the point statements. That doesn’t work for me but ” Or “what I would have felt more comfortable with…”
Essentially what you want to get across is when you did this, I felt that, what I would prefer to have happened was…do you hear where I’m coming from?”
Does that make sense to you?
The person may respond in a variety of ways. Don’t get caught up in fearing silence. Give the person time to respond.
Contact me with the conversation you would like to have and let me know how I can help.
