Have you ever wanted to do something that might raise an eyebrow or two but found yourself saying, “What will everybody think?” Concerning yourself with the way it would look to everybody,”They will think I am irresponsible, insensitive, unstable” so you stay put.
Let me ask you, who is your “everybody” anyway? Most people I know have a generalized “everybody”. Foggy. It keeps us scared to forge ahead with our true desires. I have never understood why anyone would call it your comfort zone. What is comfortable about being stuck?
Let’s get something straight. No one and I mean no one gets to go through life without fears. We are all from time to time concerned about others’ perceptions but if “everybody” is taking up more space in your head than creating the life you want it might be time to shine a light on who is really holding up your train.
Last Sunday, Dr. Lance Dodes joined me on “Talk With Francesca” on WWZN REVOLUTION BOSTON and we discussed what is at the heart of all addictions. To hear the full interview visit listen here
Here’s an example. You are recently divorced. You moved into a neighborhood with all married couples. It has turned out to be the wrong choice. Maybe you jumped too quickly. Who knows but who cares? It’s the wrong place for you to live. Being newly divorced is hard enough. You have found yourself wondering if “everybody” thinks it was your fault? Now you want to move. You find yourself thinking, “Will “everybody” think I’m unstable? Rather than move, you decide you better stay because “everybody” will be talking. Forget it!
Do you want more control over your life? Below are five steps to being on your way.
Step One
I challenge you to actually clarify who your “everybody” is. What do they actually say to you? There is usually a sharp contrast between what most of us think that “everybody” will think and what “everybody” thinks. Find evidence of what “everybody” is really thinking. Spell out who this “everybody” is and what does “everybody” specifically say?
Step Two
Find out specifically when “everybody” drops in? I bet if you were to shine the spotlight on “everybody” there are specific times when you feel more vulnerable to “everybody’s attacks”.
Step Three
Talk back to your “everybody”. Question “everybody’s” intention. Ask why, if you were to start your own business, “everybody” would laugh or think you are stupid.
Step Four
Surround yourself with people who are encouraging and supportive and dump the dirtbags that criticize you and bring negativity into your life. Cut them out, immediately. Make your “everybody” your best friends…your fans…people who believe in you!
Step Five
Remember those times in your life when you made difficult choices that turned out to be the best move you ever made? Right. Tell everybody about that!
